BLACKNESS. Floating in nothingness. Then Purple. White. Green. Bright lights fizz across the blackness. The lights speak in a language we don’t understand. These are the MIN MIN lights. They are beautiful...
MATCH CUT TO:
Fireworks burst in the sky as we the hear the doo-wop of ROTTEN COCKSUCKERS BALL by the CLOVERS. The music comes from AIDENS headphones. He stands on a bluff looking over his stinky and divided port town. AIDEN, CLEM and LENNY often shoot fireworks off the bluff but tonight it goes wrong. One flies into some long dry grass and bursts into flames. AIDEN is mesmerised, his friends panic. The fire rages and nears the expensive houses nearby. They try to put out the fire but narrowly escape, smoky and charred just as the fire engines arrive.
The next morning the trouble continues outside AIDEN’s headphones. If he takes them off he’ll only be able to hear the weeping of his mother who sits crying opposite him, ruining his fruit loops. He loves fruit loops and she’s always crying about something. A glimpse of a man floats through the house into his truck and gone… Looks like he’s walking to school again. His mother says nothing, AIDEN says less.
He walks to school lost in his music and the kaleidoscopic images it creates in his head.
If home is chaos. School is a horror show. The only people that understand Aiden’s idiosyncratic ways are CLEMENTINE and LENNY his pyromaniac friends who happen to be the other misfit members of his band, BIT IN THE FACE. Any moment they can share in school or out is spent talking, scheming, and dreaming about their band - one wonders if the band even exists.
At band practise that afternoon CLEM berates AIDEN for not being able to sing without having a coat draped over his head. She says he’s TOO weird and no wonder that no-one likes them. LENNY’s posh third parent ALAN bounces into the practise space and says they are leaving for their yoga retreat and oh yes... He’s seen an advert in the paper for A TOUR! FUCK OFF Alan, they tell him. Why would you advertise for a band in the newspaper?
They get back to practise but can’t concentrate. CLEM and LENNY are super into the idea of auditioning, however AIDEN is dead set against it. They fight and AIDEN gets upset. VERY upset. LENNY and CLEM have seen this before and should know better than to push AIDEN until he snaps. They decide to leave it.
That night AIDEN goes home to an empty house. He cooks himself a TV dinner and eats it watching some old CHUCK BERRY videos on VHS. AIDEN noodles on the piano, brilliantly. He bounces around his bedroom listening to BAD BRAINS. He plays guitar and we see him start to write a beautiful song and sing it like an angel.. until his Mother bursts in holding some of the ruined clothes that he was wearing when he tried to put out the fire. She is crying once again and furious.
He calls LENNY and tells him he has changed his mind. He wants to audition.
The next day the advert sits on the table in front of them. BAND WANTED FOR TOUR. CLEM smooshes the phone into LENNYS face demanding he calls the number. AIDEN sits nearby rocking back and forth. It’s all to much for him and wishes someone would. LENNY calls.“Yes Sir… No sir. That sounds amazing sir. “
Oh for fucks sake Lenny! You stupid c…
So stressed out she leaves and comes back smoking one of Lenny’s Mom’s Kool menthols.
Lenny hangs up the phone and grabs the cigarette from Clem’s hand, takes a deep drag which for a moment impresses her.
“He said we should come round tomorrow so he can hear us play.”
That night too nervous to sleep, the kids meet down at the docks and swim out to the tugboats. They lie under the stars , smoking more stolen menthols, planning what songs they will play until old Mr McFuckface and his wooden leg forces them to fling themselves off the boat and swim back to shore and run away from the dock police in their undies.
The next day they are buzzed into a creepy old house down near the water, full of sculptures and half finished paintings . A weird place for an audition. On the table is a note. They setup their instruments as instructed and wait for the man that Lenny spoke to. Bored with waiting they begin to play IKE and TINA’s version of COME TOGETHER. AIDEN hides in a storage cupboard behind the drums performing a near perfect imitation of Tina.
As they strike the final chord they see a wild looking old man, shirtless and covered in paint standing clapping. FIN WEAVER is an ageing concert promoter who is looking for a band to do one more tour before he retires. The first thing he says to them is that IKE TURNER once held a gun to his head in a card game. “Shit hair, a shit husband and very shit card player Ike was. Complete prick” He says. The kids love him. Fin recognises their unusual talent and offers them the tour.
The only hurdle is the PARENTS. A few nights later FIN comes around with a shirt on and explains that the kids will take their books and continue their studies on the road. He comes off as a gentle grandad, a patron of the arts and lover of young minds. They all agree that it is a splendid opportunity and that the band must go on tour.
After the parent meeting, Fin and the kids gather out front. They are all amazed that the parents lapped up the bullshit.
Fin, turns the swearing spigot back on and whispers to the kids.
“You cunts better get to practicing because in two weeks time… We’re off to see the fucken wizard!” He says and disappears into the night.
His crazy house is offered as a rehearsal space where the odd culture and cast of characters are slowly revealed to them. Fin, however, stays aloof lurking around the junkyard like Ahab, his absence makes him mythical.
Two weeks later the parents gather to wave good bye. Through the dusty back window of an old shitty Cadillac called BETTY they watch the assembled group disappear into the distance.
The band sit silently in the back, clearly thinking to themselves..
”What the fuck were they thinking letting us do this?….”